Dear Mr Sky,
My sincerest apologies but my thumb cannot operate the down button on the sky q remote. I am sorry to say that It is not very bright or patient, and has sprained itself in the process. My right foot has had to be constrained in irons, it wants to kick sky q high in the sky and let it fall onto some hard place and split into many pieces. I apologise for my right foot it only appreciates quality and considers sky q as a downgrade equivalent to a messy football. My eyes, ears and mouth are really sorry, they just do not appreciate Mr Sky's common sense approach. They expect a quick solution to a simple problem and are dissatisfied and disappointed when they have no means of getting the service thats been paid. They are seditious, they want to spread rumours and their version of the truth, they should be blindfolded, muffled and gagged because they will only make a fuss. My heart fell in love with sky plus, it never let it down and was a joy to operate. My head is the saddest of them all it thinks that instead of the useless VIP earned from 20 years of being a customer that it should be entitled to a quick and reasonable customer service. My head is now plotting its revenge. It has already started to research other tv providers. It does not need voice control, a larger storage space or other apps included. It wants a simple service that works. It does not like sky glass it is a snob and considers it an inferior being. The head is in the sky and does not like what it sees. The head must work hard for the thumb, right foot, eyes, ears, mouth, and the heart to free them from their agony. Bye Bye Sky and hello bright new world.
